hi ya’ll
it’s finals week and that brings a lot of different emotions…
one being that it is arguably the most stressful week of the semester and grades are on the line for a lot of us.
two being that it is crazy to me that after this week I will have finished my first year of veterinary school!! (how is that even possible??)
three being that you are trying to balance studying for finals with maintaining your mental health and self care so you don’t drown in the abyss that is finals week in veterinary school…
now, back to number one, grades being on the line and all, I would like to touch on this for a minute. Once you get into vet school with all of the other very intelligent and very competitive people in your class, you immediately revert to your high school/undergrad tendencies of:
“if I don’t get all A’s I’m stupid and I’m not going to be a good vet”
OR
“I have to be at the top of my class”
OR
“If I fail even one exam my life is over and I am a terrible student”
DO NOT BELIEVE THESE LIES! It is so hard when you start vet school to not compare yourself to the brainiac genius beside you, but a word of advice, do not compare and do not base your self worth on what grade you get on an exam or in a course because it will mentally drain you to your lowest point.
how do I know this? because I’ve been there, friends. I am personally living that right now and learning that very exact thing. grades do not matter and they especially do not determine your self worth or how good of a doctor you will be…
when I first started vet school, my class walked right into a brand new curriculum that is now pass/fail instead of a letter grade so I thought to myself, “wow, that is amazing and I won't have to worry about grades at all, just passing the class which should be just fine!” boy oh boy was I wrong. now don’t get me wrong, basically all of my classes besides one have been good and my grades have not suffered, but in our main content course I have really struggled. at first I felt alone and like I did not belong (imposter syndrome) but then I realized that over half of my class was in the same boat, all fighting just to pass the class…
well first semester went by and I was excited to start fresh and implement new study habits and really kill my second semester, but I was wrong again. I have done better, and my grades do reflect that, but the pressure I put on myself to do a full 360 and be perfect this semester was just impossible and unrealistic. and I have come to realize that.
I started realizing that my exam grades did not directly correlate with the information I learned from that class. I started to remember and finally know deep down that I was meant to be here and just because I’m not acing every exam does not mean I won’t be an extraordinary doctor..
to me, battling with your inner self and your worth is one of the hardest things about vet school. comparing yourself to all of the other students that walk out of an exam saying “yeah I think I missed one and I am so mad at myself because that was such an easy exam and that was a stupid mistake”, yet you feel completely different and thought you’d be lucky just to pass…
trust me when I say, you are not alone in feeling this way. I thought I was alone, I thought I had to fake it and act like I was right up there with what I thought was everyone else, getting 90s on all of my exams like the class was a breeze.. until I realized, I was not alone. It is easier said than done, but I promise you, you were meant to be here and you will accomplish all you set out to do whether you pass the class with flying colors or you’re just scraping by, you will still be a wonderful doctor and no one will look back and remember the grade you got in that one course and judge your capabilities because of it.
I feel like I could talk about this for ages because I think it is so important to remember that you are not the only one who might be struggling, and it is okay to not be perfect! I hope what you take away from this is that there are many others out there (even in your own class) who are silently struggling with imposter syndrome and feeling like their grades make up all of who they are, but that is nowhere near the truth.
work hard, stay true to yourself, and know that no matter what you will be an amazing doctor.
see ya in the next post, friends
xoxo,
payton
April 27th, 2023